Nicola met the man of her dreams on a dating site. But then she discovered that he suffered from Locked In Syndrome - and couldn't walk or talk. Here is her amazing true love story.


I took a sip of tea and settled myself in front of the laptop.

Newly single, I had just signed up to a dating service called ‘Are You Interested’ on my Facebook account and was eager to see if I had received any messages.

One new message popped up on the screen.

 “Nick Chisholm is interested in you,” it read.

I took a quick look at Nick’s profile online. And I liked what I saw. A handsome smiling face and sparkling green eyes. This man was gorgeous!

I tapped out a reply and pressed send.

Over the next few hours we exchanged emails telling each other all about ourselves.

I found out that hunky Nick was aged 36 and lived in Dunedin in New Zealand – nearly 12,000 miles away!

I told him that I was a secondary school teacher and lived in England with my 17- year old son Zakk. (correct)

Then in one of his emails Nick told me to take a look at a clip from a New Zealand TV documentary.

“You better take a look at this,” he typed as he sent me the link.

A programme about a man who had a rare neurological disorder started playing on the screen.

He had something called ‘Locked In Syndrome’ – it meant that his brain was functioning normally but his body was paralysed and he couldn’t talk.

Suddenly the penny dropped. It was Nick.

Nick - the funny, sexy guy that I had been chatting to - was the man featured on the documentary.

I discovered that in 2000, sporty architect Nick had been playing rugby when he suffered a serious injury to his head and fell unconscious.

In hospital he suffered a series of major brain stem strokes and was on the verge of death.

He miraculously survived – but was left with the rare condition called Locked In Syndrome. His brain is razor sharp but he can’t move or talk. He is literally trapped in his own body.

As he can’t talk, the only way he can communicate is with a letter board, spelling out words by pointing his eyes to different letters.

He has a small amount of movement in his arms and face and uses a joystick to operate a computer. He also goes to the gym on a daily basis to keep in shape.

But Nick is confined to a wheelchair and requires 24 hour care. Even simple tasks such as eating are difficult and he is fed fluids through a tube in his stomach.

Shocked at what I had just seen, I confided in my mum Sue and son Zakk.

But as I was explaining it to them, I realised that it didn’t bother me. It was Nick the personality I liked, not Nick the disability.

I was drawn to Nick and I wanted to get to know him better.

“Saw the TV link,” I emailed back later that night.

“Hope you’re not just talking to me because you feel sorry for me?” he typed.

“No, it was because I fancied the pants off you when I saw your picture!” I replied.

And that was it. Soon we were emailing each other several times a day.

We had the same interest in music and films. He showed me photos of his life in New Zealand, and I showed him pictures of my life in Lincolnshire.

He made me laugh and we spent hours chatting online.

My feelings for Nick were growing stronger day by day.

Before long we had decided to become an official couple.

Nick sent me bunches of flowers from across the other side of the world and gave me his treasured necklace as a present.

Some people had concerns about our relationship and what I was getting myself into.

“Don’t get carried away in the moment,” one friend warned. “There is a lot to think about.”

But I knew that I was making the right decision. I was falling in love – albeit with a man that I had never met.

It was very frustrating having a relationship with someone who lived the other side of the world. I was desperate to see him in person.

So after nine months and 9000 emails, I finally made the 30 hour plane journey from Heathrow to New Zealand.

Nick’s mum Joss picked me from the airport. I had requested that Nick didn’t meet me there as I thought that it would be too impersonal for our first meeting.

As soon as I walked through the front door of Nick’s house in Dunedin my heart started pounding and my hands started shaking. 

This was it. I was about to meet my boyfriend for the very first time.

What if he didn’t like me in person? What if I didn’t like him? Had this whole trip been a mistake?

I nervously made my way upstairs to the front room and pushed open the door.

There he was, sitting on the couch, looking handsome.

I rushed straight over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

It felt strange at first because he couldn’t hug me back because of his Locked In Syndrome. But I could tell from his beaming smile that he was pleased to see me.

For the first couple of hours we just sat together, kissing and cuddling.

The only way that we could communicate was through the letter board. It was quite a slow and laborious process, and meant that his sentences were very short and impersonal.

But we didn’t need to speak to each other to be able to feel the sparks that were flying between us.

Over the next two weeks we were inseparable.

We visited Nick’s brother Aaron and his wife Simone in Queentown and spent time sightseeing. 

We also spent a romantic two night break in a cottage by the beautiful Lake Tekapo.

We were just like any normal couple - Locked In Syndrome didn’t stop us from doing the things that other people in love do.

Even though Nick is virtually paralysed, he is still able to have sex. You’ll just have to take my word for it that everything is in working order!

But some aspects of his condition were harder to get used to.

Nick has a full-time carer, so it was tricky getting time on our own, even at night.

And it was incredibly hard to watch a grown man being fed fluids through a tube in his stomach.

I soon realised the frustration that Nick experiences every day. He hates having to be dependent on other people and gets angry when he can’t do simple things like brush his teeth or eat solid food.

But none of that mattered to me, though. It was just part and parcel of who he was.

And even though he was going through so much, Nick always put me first. I had never met anyone who made me feel so special.

The days flew by. Soon it was time for me to go home.

Saying good bye to Nick was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do.

We had an emotional farewell at the airport. I was trying to interpret what Nick was saying on his letter board but I couldn’t because I was crying too much.

Eventually, through my tears I saw that Nick had spelt out: ‘’Don’t be sad.” 

Back home in the UK, the distance between us seems greater than ever before.

I booked a return trip to New Zealand for July, but it wasn’t enough.

All I could think about was being with Nick. After meeting him in the flesh, resuming an online relationship was impossible. 

Now I plan to emigrate to New Zealand at the beginning of next year to live with Nick on a permanent basis.

All I want is for us to be a regular couple. To wake up together, to fall asleep together, to spend the rest of our lives together.

I want to learn more about how to look after Nick so that we can rely less on the carers and have more independence.

We are not letting Locked In Syndrome take over our lives. We have lots of plans for the future – I’d love to get married.

Nick is desperate to take me on a cruise around the world - that’s his dream at the moment. 

It will be really hard leaving my family and friends

I took a sip of tea and settled myself in front of the laptop.

Newly single, I had just signed up to a dating service called ‘Are You Interested’ on my Facebook account and was eager to see if I had received any messages.

One new message popped up on the screen.

 “Nick Chisholm is interested in you,” it read.

I took a quick look at Nick’s profile online. And I liked what I saw. A handsome smiling face and sparkling green eyes. This man was gorgeous!

I tapped out a reply and pressed send.

Over the next few hours we exchanged emails telling each other all about ourselves.

I found out that hunky Nick was aged 36 and lived in Dunedin in New Zealand – nearly 12,000 miles away!

I told him that I was a secondary school teacher and lived in England with my 17- year old son Zakk. (correct)

Then in one of his emails Nick told me to take a look at a clip from a New Zealand TV documentary.

“You better take a look at this,” he typed as he sent me the link.

A programme about a man who had a rare neurological disorder started playing on the screen.

He had something called ‘Locked In Syndrome’ – it meant that his brain was functioning normally but his body was paralysed and he couldn’t talk.

Suddenly the penny dropped. It was Nick.

Nick - the funny, sexy guy that I had been chatting to - was the man featured on the documentary.

I discovered that in 2000, sporty architect Nick had been playing rugby when he suffered a serious injury to his head and fell unconscious.

In hospital he suffered a series of major brain stem strokes and was on the verge of death.

He miraculously survived – but was left with the rare condition called Locked In Syndrome. His brain is razor sharp but he can’t move or talk. He is literally trapped in his own body.

As he can’t talk, the only way he can communicate is with a letter board, spelling out words by pointing his eyes to different letters.

He has a small amount of movement in his arms and face and uses a joystick to operate a computer. He also goes to the gym on a daily basis to keep in shape.

But Nick is confined to a wheelchair and requires 24 hour care. Even simple tasks such as eating are difficult and he is fed fluids through a tube in his stomach.

Shocked at what I had just seen, I confided in my mum Sue and son Zakk.

But as I was explaining it to them, I realised that it didn’t bother me. It was Nick the personality I liked, not Nick the disability.

I was drawn to Nick and I wanted to get to know him better.

“Saw the TV link,” I emailed back later that night.

“Hope you’re not just talking to me because you feel sorry for me?” he typed.

“No, it was because I fancied the pants off you when I saw your picture!” I replied.

And that was it. Soon we were emailing each other several times a day.

We had the same interest in music and films. He showed me photos of his life in New Zealand, and I showed him pictures of my life in Lincolnshire.

He made me laugh and we spent hours chatting online.

My feelings for Nick were growing stronger day by day.

Before long we had decided to become an official couple.

Nick sent me bunches of flowers from across the other side of the world and gave me his treasured necklace as a present.

Some people had concerns about our relationship and what I was getting myself into.

“Don’t get carried away in the moment,” one friend warned. “There is a lot to think about.”

But I knew that I was making the right decision. I was falling in love – albeit with a man that I had never met.

It was very frustrating having a relationship with someone who lived the other side of the world. I was desperate to see him in person.

So after nine months and 9000 emails, I finally made the 30 hour plane journey from Heathrow to New Zealand.

Nick’s mum Joss picked me from the airport. I had requested that Nick didn’t meet me there as I thought that it would be too impersonal for our first meeting.

As soon as I walked through the front door of Nick’s house in Dunedin my heart started pounding and my hands started shaking. 

This was it. I was about to meet my boyfriend for the very first time.

What if he didn’t like me in person? What if I didn’t like him? Had this whole trip been a mistake?

I nervously made my way upstairs to the front room and pushed open the door.

There he was, sitting on the couch, looking handsome.

I rushed straight over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

It felt strange at first because he couldn’t hug me back because of his Locked In Syndrome. But I could tell from his beaming smile that he was pleased to see me.

For the first couple of hours we just sat together, kissing and cuddling.

The only way that we could communicate was through the letter board. It was quite a slow and laborious process, and meant that his sentences were very short and impersonal.

But we didn’t need to speak to each other to be able to feel the sparks that were flying between us.

Over the next two weeks we were inseparable.

We visited Nick’s brother Aaron and his wife Simone in Queentown and spent time sightseeing. 

We also spent a romantic two night break in a cottage by the beautiful Lake Tekapo.

We were just like any normal couple - Locked In Syndrome didn’t stop us from doing the things that other people in love do.

Even though Nick is virtually paralysed, he is still able to have sex. You’ll just have to take my word for it that everything is in working order!

But some aspects of his condition were harder to get used to.

Nick has a full-time carer, so it was tricky getting time on our own, even at night.

And it was incredibly hard to watch a grown man being fed fluids through a tube in his stomach.

I soon realised the frustration that Nick experiences every day. He hates having to be dependent on other people and gets angry when he can’t do simple things like brush his teeth or eat solid food.

But none of that mattered to me, though. It was just part and parcel of who he was.

And even though he was going through so much, Nick always put me first. I had never met anyone who made me feel so special.

The days flew by. Soon it was time for me to go home.

Saying good bye to Nick was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do.

We had an emotional farewell at the airport. I was trying to interpret what Nick was saying on his letter board but I couldn’t because I was crying too much.

Eventually, through my tears I saw that Nick had spelt out: ‘’Don’t be sad.” 

Back home in the UK, the distance between us seems greater than ever before.

I booked a return trip to New Zealand for July, but it wasn’t enough.

All I could think about was being with Nick. After meeting him in the flesh, resuming an online relationship was impossible. 

Now I plan to emigrate to New Zealand at the beginning of next year to live with Nick on a permanent basis.

All I want is for us to be a regular couple. To wake up together, to fall asleep together, to spend the rest of our lives together.

I want to learn more about how to look after Nick so that we can rely less on the carers and have more independence.

We are not letting Locked In Syndrome take over our lives. We have lots of plans for the future – I’d love to get married.

Nick is desperate to take me on a cruise around the world - that’s his dream at the moment. 

It will be really hard leaving my family and friends behind in the UK, especially Zakk, but that’s a sacrifice that I am willing to make.

Nick is my soul mate. It was destiny that brought us together and I can’t let that go.